Healing Hearts

Join us Sunday, February 26, 2012

February marks the annual Healing Hearts for Pet Lovers program sponsored by Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation. Any person who is having trouble coming to terms with the loss of a pet, regardless of when the loss occurred, is welcome to attend. There is no charge for participating.

The session addresses the needs of families who are experiencing the loss of a precious companion. The afternoon will involve both education and remembrance to provide grieving families with help and resources to work through the trauma of losing a beloved companion.

• Grief Information
• Grief Resources
• Tributes
• Fellowship

Please bring a friend to support you or who also might benefit from attending.

The one-afternoon session is free and will include a speaker to provide grieving families with help and resources to work through the trauma of losing a beloved companion. You will be in the company of other families who know the gut-wrenching feeling of losing a pet. Families grieving the loss of their pet are welcome whether or not they have worked with Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation.

The session will begin at 2:30 p.m. on Sunday, February 26, 2012 at LaBella Bean Café in Bridgeville. Labella Bean is located at 609 Washington Avenue, Bridgeville, PA 15017, just two blocks away from Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation. LaBella Bean will be closed to the public during this session.

So that we may properly prepare and also contact you in the event of bad weather, please RSVP if you are planning to attend by calling 412-220-7800.

For any updates about Healing Hearts you can either check back to this blog, sign up to receive our blog posts or friend us on Facebook using the links at left to automatically receive notices.

And please visit our website at www.ccpc.ws to read about our services and other pet-related resources we offer.

The initial Pet First Aid certification class at Bridgeville Public Library, June 2011.

Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation sponsored a four hour pet first aid certification class at the newly constructed Bridgeville Public Library during the library’s Grand Opening weekend in June, taught by Karen Sable of Pet Emergency Training, LLC.

Although there is usually a charge for attending the classes, Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation offered these sessions free of charge in an attempt to offer families the skills that they may need to save the life of their dear pet.

“It is difficult when we lose a pet who has lived a full and long life, but it is practically impossible to say goodbye when the pet is only a few years old. The grief is palpable in these situations, with families saying they had such plans for the life cut drastically short.”

And not just considering household emergencies, but with the number of weather related problems during the past several years (floods, tornadoes and large snowfalls with power outages), the western Pennsylvania area has not been spared the impact these conditions can have on our beloved pets.

The four hour class covered injury assessment, rescue breathing, canine and feline CPR, bleeding protocols, choking management, heat and cold injuries, bites and stings, seizures, poisoning, fractures and limb injuries, and the creation of a home pet first aid kit. Participants received lecture presentations as well as extensive demonstration on stuffed animals and hands on skills practice as well as training materials, a first aid handbook, Certificate of Completion and wallet card.

Because some interested people may not have had the full five hours to devote to learning pet first aid but still wanted basic information, Deb and Karen decided to offer an introductory class.

The 90-minute introductory classes touched on some of the more common situations that might be encountered such as choking, a demonstration of CPR for cats and different breeds of dogs, heat stroke/heat stress/safety precautions about hot weather, plus disaster preparedness including what you need to have on hand in case of a disaster.

Both classes help families be prepared for weather emergencies and natural disasters.

The very first class in Bridgeville was followed up with 90-minute introductory classes in Carnegie, Robinson Township, Mt. Lebanon and Bethel Park. The classes were very popular and attendance increased from 14 at the first certification class to nearly 30 at the introductory classes.

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All images and text used on this site are copyrighted unless otherwise noted and may not be used without written permission.

Learning first aid can help your pet live a long life.

Is there anything sadder than losing the companionship of your pet to death?

Yes.  When I need to work with a family whose young, healthy pet has succumbed to an accidental death, it is a double tragedy. Not only does the family experience the loss but there is a lingering feeling that “if only…” they would have done this or that, the death may not have occurred.

I have worked with families whose pet died after being caught and choked by the collar, who suffocated in a potato chip bag. At one point in during the spring of 2010 several families brought me young pets whose deaths were accidental, and if they had known first aid it may have made the difference in their survival. I wondered if there was anything I could do through Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation to prevent such tragedies.

As providence has often revealed the answer to my problems, in walks Karen Sable. After we talked about arrangements for her dear departed Snowball, our conversation revealed that she had chosen to intensify her involvement in animal welfare and was certified as a pet CPR and first aid instructor.

Through discussions, our two businesses, Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation and Pet Emergency Training LLC, have joined forces to help families learn what to do in the case of a pet life threatening situation.

The idea of providing pet first aid information to pet owners grew into something very special in 2011, from sponsoring one certification class in Bridgeville to a total of six classes through the year, increasing attendance, and donating pet oxygen masks to community EMS. As we plan 2012, we’ll be telling you the story one chapter at a time.

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All images and text used on this site are copyrighted unless otherwise noted and may not be used without written permission.

Happy Holidays

Visit CCPC Saturday December 10 from 10am to 2pm for a free gift, a mini pet first aid demonstration and holiday gift ideas.

The first fifty families to visit will receive a Pet Holiday Survival Kit. The kit is an easy to store and carry pouch containing the basics of what you’d need to provide first aid to your pet in the case of an accident or injury during the holiday festivities, or any time.

Karen Sable, Pet Emergency Training LLC and the instructor for our recent series of Pet First Aid classes, will be on hand to demonstrate several first aid techniques.

We’ll also present several special gift ideas that might please the pet parent on your holiday list including our selection of urns and other memorial items and custom-made memorial jewelry.  Animal artist Bernadette E. Kazmarski will be on hand with samples of artwork and finished portraits with gift certificates for purchase to give for the holidays.

Deb Chebatoris, owner of CCPC, says, “I have become a passionate advocate of pet first aid classes and kits for all pet families because the only thing sadder than losing your pet is losing your pet to an accidental death. So much of accident prevention is just being aware of potential hazards and making sure your pet is kept safe from these hazards,” she continued.

In order to promote the knowledge of pet first aid for pet parents, Chebatoris has over the past six months partnered with Karen Sable, Pet Emergency Training LLC, to offer first aid classes in the South Hills area  free of charge to pet parents who would like to learn techniques that may save the life of their pet.

Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation is located at 442 Washington Avenue in Bridgeville. For more information about CCPC or the Pet First Aid Classes, visit www.ccpc.ws.

Tribute Scroll 2011

The Tribute Scroll 2011 is now posted for viewing on my website, featuring images and tributes for pets who were remembered at our Pet Memorial Sunday ceremony on Sunday, September 11.

In 2010 we decided to offer our families an extra remembrance of their precious pets: a slideshow of images and brief tributes submitted electronically by families who attended Pet Memorial Sunday which we named the Tribute Scroll. These were compiled with notes from the event, photos of calming and healing scenes by artist and photographer Bernadette E. Kazmarski, and with an original piano score composed and performed by musician and multi-instrumentalist Johnathan Wooding.

Visit the Tribute Scroll 2011 and spend a quiet ten minutes with the music, images and words of loving families. After Pet Memorial Sunday is over, you can stop back to visit the Tribute Scroll whenever you want.

The 2010 Tribute Scroll is still available for viewing on the same page. If it’s been a while since you’ve seen our 2010 Tribute Scroll, we’re so glad to announce that the music was finally successfully added at the beginning of August 2011, so stop back again and enjoy it with the music.

Please visit the CCPC website for Pet Memorial Sunday for details on the event and the Tribute Scroll. Please call Deb with any questions, 412-220-7800.

Jon Katz, "Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die"

“Tomorrow, I’m going to give you a Perfect Day,” he said quietly to Duke as they left the vet’s office. He would take the day off from work and create a sweet memory with his dog. It would be a special day, filled with all the things Duke loved most, as close to perfect as Harry could make it. He would take his Canon PowerShot along to capture some images of the day, to preserve the memories.

This article describes a beautiful celebration of your pet’s life by spending one perfect day with them before they die.

via Jon Katz’s Going Home: Spend one, last, perfect day with your dying dog. – Slate Magazine.

The Dove Release

Pet Memorial Sunday 2011

The rain moved all around us but never fell on our tent as nearly 50 people found a place to share their grief and joy, remembering their pets.

Deb Chebatoris, owner of Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation and host of the event for the seventh year, opened with a welcome, and a moment of silence in recognition of the tenth anniversary of September 11, 2001.

She continued with a thank you to those who attended the pet memorial on this special day. “And this being Pittsburgh,” she continued, “I want to thank you for choosing to attend this ceremony while the Steelers are playing the first game of the season,” eliciting a murmur of chuckles as attendees smiled at each other and relaxed.

Table with photos and mementos.

“Let’s hope the rain holds off for us,” she said explaining where we would go if we needed to take shelter other than the tent, “but if it does rain, it will just be like our tears. This is a safe place to cry.”

Those attending are usually families of Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation who have lost a pet in the past year, or even in years past. Families gather and are encouraged to bring a photo or memento of their pet to place on the table and display board at the front of the tent during the ceremony.

The program includes two speakers, a reading of brief tributes sent by the families in attendance, the release of doves and then a final speaker.

Our Last Moments Together

The first speaker was Dr. Brad Carmichael of Pleasant Valley Veterinary Clinic who spoke about “Our Last Moments Together” with our pet.

“I’m sorry you even have a reason to be here,” he began, and then went on to discuss being with your pet before or during its death, and the decision of euthanasia.

Dr. Brad Carmichael

“If anyone here has any doubts, regrets or guilt about that decision, put them aside,” Dr. Brad said. “Think about this—when we get together and talk about how we’d prefer to die, what do we say? We’d like to go in our sleep. And isn’t this what we’ve done for our beloved pets? If you made that decision, you’ve given a gift,” he continued.

He then presented a framed, hand-lettered verse entitled, “The Veterinarian’s Prayer”.

“A client gave me this in thanks, and it pretty much sums up how I feel about what I do,” he said, then read the text to us.

A VETERINARIAN’S PRAYER

Heavenly Father, I offer myself as an instrument of kindness and shelter
to the wondrous animals that You’ve entrusted to my care.
I ask you to enlighten and strengthen me
and to keep me as gentle as Thou would be.

O Lord, may you always hear this prayer–
Please be with me and be my helping hand
and when it seems I sometimes fail,
please help me to understand.

For even though You’ve given us our animals
for pleasure and to serve,
we thank You for Your gift to us through
the care they richly deserve.

Heavenly Father, please be merciful
to the animals who are in pain and to those who are ill
and hear my pledge as a veterinarian to serve and
always obey Your will.

©92 Patty Temple

Our Initial Grief Response

The next speaker was Elizabeth Babcock, LCSW, who also moderates the “Healing Hearts” pet loss session CCPC holds every February and also numbers among CCPC families, spoke about “Our Initial Grief Response”.

“If you’re feeling awful right now, you can’t sleep, you don’t want to eat, you don’t want to talk to anyone, all you want to do is cry, then you’re in a pretty normal state for grief,” she said.

Elizabeth Babcock, LCSW

“Grief is a normal, healthy response to the life-altering loss you’ve suffered,” she said, and went on to remind us that our loss has touched every part of our life physically and emotionally and so we feel grief just as much physically in energy, sleep habits and appetite, as emotionally, in our tears and simply in our thought processes.

“Grief can be frightening in its intensity, and it seems to go on and on, as if it will never end,” Elizabeth continued. “We tend to try to hide it, and our society wants us to feel better right away so we don’t have to see that grief,” she said, “but that’s often the worst thing you can do. You have to let it run its course, in a way that is right for you.”

She reviewed what to expect as we mourn a loss, that we may relive the loss again at anniversaries and we may find ourselves wanting to perform or repeat activities that make no sense, but are part of a normal response.

“If you find yourself wanting to put down the food bowl at mealtimes, even though your pet is gone, just go ahead and do it, let yourself go through that ritual for a few days afterward,” Elizabeth said. “You’ve done that every day for how long? And it was a happy part of your day? And you expect yourself to stop wanting to do that? It’s okay, you need to do that,” she continued.

Allow your feelings to happen, she advised, and do whatever feels right for yourself within reason, and give yourself a break from grieving now and then so that you don’t exhaust yourself. Let your grief unfold in its own way and for as long as you need, and both seek the company of others who “get it” and avoid those who don’t. Lower your expectations of yourself for a while, she continued, and take good care of yourself.

But grief is a process and does eventually come to an end. If you feel that your grieving process is getting out of your control, or if a person you love and trust tells you they feel you may not be healing from your grief, then this has become “complicated grief” and it’s perfectly appropriate to seek help.

Family Tributes

Deb encourages families to compose tributes of up to 50 words for their pets to be read aloud as part of the ceremony and includes guidelines and samples on her website. These were read alternately by Deb and Bernadette Kazmarski, another speaker, turning the rain stick between each one.

A sample tribute: “Lindy, Calvin and Hobbes, you were some of my best friends in this life and I am forever a better person for the years I spent with each of you. Thank you for all you gave, for all you made possible, and for the countless memories that will always make me smile. You were – each of you in your own unique way – the very best. –Elizabeth”

The Dove Release

Everyone stepped outside the tent for the release of doves, symbolizing the ability to let go of cherished pets and let them fly free while still loving them, watching the graceful white birds wheel and swirl among the trees, disappearing into the sky, listening to Celine Dion’s “Fly”.

The Joy of Pets

Bernadette E. Kazmarski, local artist and writer, spoke about the joy of pets, and loving another pet after a loss.

“I am one of Deb’s families, several times over,” she began, “and I am so glad I found her.”

Kazmarski paints commissioned portraits of pets, and often they are commissioned around a pet’s loss so she works with grieving families as part of her artwork, hoping to help ease their grief with a portrait that commemorates what they loved about their pet or family of pets.

She has also rescued and fostered cats for about 25 years, and in that time has had her own share of losses, 13 to be exact, and while it’s never easy she does have an idea what to expect and uses that to help others.

“But I’ve weaseled out of adopting again by simply letting nature bring me more fosters and never making the choice because I never felt comfortable in choosing,” she said, and began a story of her own “loss and redemption”.

The story related the loss of her four oldest cats all within one year, then the loss to FIP of a kitten she’d fostered during that year who ended up staying with her.

“My heart was broken,” she said, “I was beyond pain, simply numb. My house, usually full of cats, felt empty with only the four still with me, all seniors, one with a serious heart condition, and in my state of mind they simply looked like sources of more pain,” she continued. “I had to do something serious to keep myself from going down that path.”

The kitten’s mother lived across the street, ready to deliver another litter of kittens and appeared in her yard and Kazmarski decided she should take her in, so she asked her veterinarian how safe that would be, asked the neighbor for the cat and prepared a room.

Cuddling, kissing and loving that litter of newborns and their mother was the perfect healing for the pain of that loss. “I picked up all four of them in one big handful and kissed them all repeatedly, several times a day, every day, and forgot all about FIP and illness and loss, and just loved them, and their patient little mom understood,” Kazmarski explained.

She told the audience, “As deeply as you loved, so do you grieve, but after the grief wears away it leaves the only love, shining like a diamond. Look back through your photos and see your lifetime of pets, and what do you remember? Not the grief, only the love,” she finished.

Tribute Scroll

The photos and tributes gathered during the ceremony will be produced into a slideshow with musical accompaniment, “Tribute Scroll 2011”. This will be found on the Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation website, www.ccpc.ws along with the 2010 Tribute Scroll from last year’s Pet Memorial Sunday ceremony.

We learn to let go.

The opening frame for the Tribute Scroll 2010

If you’re planning to join us for our annual Pet Memorial Sunday ceremony on Sunday, September 11, please also consider submitting a photo to be included in our 2011 Tribute Scroll.

In 2010 we decided to offer our families an extra remembrance of their precious pets: a slideshow of images and brief tributes submitted electronically by families who attended Pet Memorial Sunday which we named the Tribute Scroll. These were compiled with notes from the event, photos of calming and healing scenes by artist and photographer Bernadette E. Kazmarski, and with an original piano score composed and performed by musician and multi-instrumentalist Johnathan Wooding.

Visit our 2010 Tribute Scroll and spend a quiet ten minutes with the music, images and words of loving families. After Pet Memorial Sunday is over, you can stop back to visit the Tribute Scroll whenever you want.

If it’s been a while since you’ve seen our 2010 Tribute Scroll, we’re so glad to announce that the music was finally successfully added at the beginning of August 2011, so stop back again and enjoy it with the music.

Please visit the CCPC website for Pet Memorial Sunday for details on the event and the Tribute Scroll. Please call Deb with any questions, 412-220-7800.

Pet Memorial Sunday

The second Sunday of September is designated as Pet Memorial Sunday by the International Association of Pet Cemeteries and Crematories, and for every year in which she has been in business, Deb Chebatoris of Chartiers Custom Pet Cremation (CCPC) has hosted a ceremony on this day dedicated to remembering our animal companions for anyone who has lost a pet.

The Rainbow

“Rituals build community, creating a meeting ground where people can share deep feelings or…keep a solemn silence,” Chebatoris says. “This event is for anyone who may have experienced the loss of a beloved pet, no matter when the loss occurred.”

Our animal companions have become more respected members of our society, from recognizing that people will not evacuate even a life-threatening situation if they can’t take their animals to realizing that a close bond with an animal can help people heal from both physical and emotional traumas. Grief after the loss of a cherished animal companion is also accepted with respectful aftercare and loving ceremonies.

Anyone who has loved and lost an animal companion clearly understands the need for respectful grieving and memorials. Our animal companions fill a deep place in our lives; for children they are sometimes the closest friend and confidant, for seniors they are often a singular daily companion. All who share their lives with an animal find a unique personality and a bond that’s hard to replace when gone.

“I’m so glad to continue hosting this ceremony,” Chebatoris says. “I always receive thank you notes, and many people return year after year even if they haven’t lost a pet.”

This year’s ceremony

The ceremony is on Sunday, September 11, 2011 from 2:00 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. at Melrose Cemetery in Bridgeville.

The gathering will be held under a tent in the cemetery with light refreshments served afterward as families are invited to share their experiences with each other and speak to the presenters.

As part of the ceremony, three speakers will discuss our relationships with our pets before, during and after their death. Dr. Brad Carmichael of Pleasant Valley Veterinary Hospital in McMurray PA, will speak on “Our Last Moments Together”, Elizabeth Babcock, LCSW, will speak on “Our Initial Grief Response”, and Bernadette E. Kazmarski, animal artist and writer, will speak on “The Joy of Pets”.

The Dove Release.

These speakers are followed by a reading of “Words of Tribute” written by pet owners who attend. Chebatoris encourages participants to write a 50-word tribute to commemorate and remember the lives they shared with their special pets, and has tips and examples on her website for composition.

“Keeping a tribute to your pet to only 50 words can be a challenge,” Chebatoris remarks, “but limiting your remembrance to 50 words helps you to focus on the essential elements that made your pet special.”

Also, attendance is usually between 30 and 40 persons, and Chebatoris wants to make sure everyone’s tribute is heard in the limited time scheduled for the gathering.

Families are also encouraged to bring a photo of their pet to be displayed during the ceremony.

After all the speakers and the readings and the candle-lighting ceremony, “we release a flock of white doves to symbolize our ability to let go of our precious companions,” Chebatoris explains.

The 2011 Tribute Scroll

As a follow-up to the event, in 2010 Chebatoris introduced the “Tribute Scroll”, a slideshow of photos and tributes electronically submitted by her families and composed after Pet Memorial Sunday with a commissioned musical accompaniment. The slideshow is posted on her website for families to view as a memorial whenever they choose; the 2010 slideshow is there now. A new Scroll will be composed each year including photos and tributes submitted by families that year.

Click here to see the 2010 Tribute Scroll.

RSVP and Words of Tribute by September 9

The public is invited to attend, but Deb needs an RSVP to know the number who wish to attend. Also, in order to provide a peaceful environment for all, it is not appropriate to bring live pets to this event.

The Pet Memorial Sunday page on the site includes an e-mail address for Deb as well as instructions for composing and sending your Words of Tribute.

For more information or to RSVP, please visit the website at www.ccpc.ws or call me at 412-220-7800. The Pet Memorial Sunday page on the site includes an e-mail address as well as instructions for composing and sending your Words of Tribute.

Cat Cloisonne

Cloisonné Kitties

Cloisonné is a sophisticated artform that beautifully unites copper and enamel in a mosaic pattern. Newly created, the manufacturer crafted this urn to honor the life you shared with your cat. The rich tan, cream and brown tones may remind you of your special tabby hiding amongst autumn leaves. Also available in slate blue-gray (not pictured).

Cloisonné

Cloisonne Ginger Jars

These beautiful cloisonné urns are brass with enameled designs painted on the surface. They feature a threaded top lid closure and come in the four colors shown: deep sky blue, rose petal pink, sugary cream and black and gold. They accommodate the cremains of a small to medium size pet.

Other Cloisonné Choices

Other styles and colors of cloisonne

Other lovely cloisonné urn choices that are available to accommodate slightly larger pets. 

Available colors include hunter green, autumn brown, azure blue, pink purple, and spring green.

You can see larger images of these urns on my website along with many other styles. If you’re interested in an urn, please e-mail or give me a call at 412-220-7800.

Photographs © Bernadette E. Kazmarski.